Four years ago, my mother was diagnosed with serious heart condition. We spent a whole month in two hospitals. We spent Christmas in one, New Year in the other. It's one Christmas season we won't forget.
Nanay came home before her 71st birthday. On her birthday that year, I made her promise me to stay at least 15 years more. She was negotiating for a shorter term because at that point in her life she felt she could not even make 5 years.
She became older each day but she kept on trying to get stronger. We were stopping her from doing household chores but she just won't give up.
One day, Yuki asked her: "Nanay, why are you so hard-headed? Why wont you stop doing the chores?" And Nanay was teary-eyed when she answered: " I feel useless. I don't think there's anything I can do anymore."
I was completely speechless when Yuki shared this story. How she assured my mother (her grandmother) that she is not useless and that she matters whether she can still do chores or not because she has done enough and it's her children's and grandchildren's turn to serve her.
Was that a moment of genuine humility, self-pity or self-doubt? I realize that people in all walks of life lose hope every day and someone has to bring that hope alive because there’s will always be meaningful moments left to experience; and we have to appreciate this moment for what it is despite sickness and old age. Every moment is a gift. The present is a chance to enjoy the sights, sounds, smells and sensations life has to offer. The present moment is all the life there ever is.
My Nanay will be 75 on her next birthday. As happy as we are planning for that day, we make sure that Nanay feels we love and treasure her each day. We spend as much time as we can because we know we could not bank on the future. What we are sure though is that we have NOW.
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